Act like a lady think like a man how to#

The color just throws me all off, the cabinets are all wrong, they don't go with the stove and I can't get my mind right in here when I'm trying to cook.' If he's all the way in it with you, he will say, without hesitation, 'What color you want this kitchen to be, baby?' Tell him 'pink,' and see if by next Saturday the whole kitchen isn't painted pink, cabinets and all. When your man comes over, tell him, 'You know, I just can't stand this kitchen this way. Go ahead, I dare you to try it for yourself. I'm telling you right now: if you go to your man with a situation that's fixable and he doesn't try to fix it, he is not your man-he is not in love with you. And when you're happy, there is a great return for us. Because any man with sense knows that when mama's happy, we're all going to be happy. And The Fix falls firmly into the 'provide' category.ДЇor sure, provision isn't just about money for us, providing also is about righting what's wrong, and figuring out what's going to keep everybody happy. This, we've been told, is how a man shows his love.

Profess, provide, and protect-all our lives, that's what we men have been taught and encouraged to do. Women have different moods, and ideas in their head, and you all expect us to fall in line, and if we don't, it's a problem-you're telling your girlfriends, 'He won't talk to me,' and 'I can't get him to open up.' But opening up is not what we do. Now that he's grown and in a relationship, you expect that same boy who was told to keep quiet and keep it moving to be a man who can sit and listen and communicate and nurture? I'm telling you now: your expectations are off.

Act like a lady think like a man how to#

Our automatic response is to tell him to get over it, get back on the bike, and figure out how to ride it so he doesn't fall again. There's no discussion about how he felt when he hit the ground-nobody's asking him to talk about whether he's too scared to get back on the bike and try again. Let a little boy fall off his bike and scrape his knee-see how fast everyone tells him to get up and shake it off and stop all that doggone crying. We don't let them cry, we don't ask them how they feel about anything, we don't encourage them to express themselves in any meaningful way beyond showing how 'manly' they are. Communicating, nurturing, listening to problems, and trying to understand them without any obligation to fix them is simply not what boys are raised to do. From the moment we come out of the womb, we're taught to protect, profess, and provide. In our mind, problem solved-no more talking.ДЄll of this is to say that we men aren't in the talking business we're in the fix-it business. And if you don't wear that particular blouse to the office again, you won't have to deal with that particular problem again. You're not looking at the woman in the identical blouse anymore. How you felt at work while you had to sit there with this other woman on the other side of the room with the same blouse on is irrelevant to us.ДЄs far as we're concerned, the problem has already been fixed-you came home. In this particular instance, and many more examples such as this, we can't get more worked up than that. Your man: 'Really? Don't wear it anymore.'Д®nd of conversation. She'll even go on to give you concrete examples of every other time something like this has happened to other women throughout the history of the world, and, hours later, you all will get up from the couch, having solved nothing but feeling so much better. You lay out your problem and she'll commiserate with you-give you all kinds of 'yeah, girls' and 'I know that's right,' and nod and agree and tell you stories about how the same thing happened to her. But seriously? That's what your girlfriends are for. We understand that this frustrates you time and time again, because sometimes you want to talk to share and get someone else's take on a situation-you know, put a listening ear on it. We just want to fix whatever situation is upsetting the balance. When men are talking, and especially when they're listening, it's with purpose. It's just not in our DNA to lounge around, sip coffee, and dab at our eyes with tissue as if we're in an AA meeting or on some psychologist's couch trying to get things off our chest. But even more? No man wants to sit around gabbing with you like we're one of your girlfriends. Now, we understand that we're not the essence of perfection and there are going to be times when you're mad at us and need to let us know it we get that, though we don't necessarily want to have to concentrate on an hourlong angry lecture about how we screwed up.